I am 29 years old, I've been single for more than 4 years now. I know I'm a beautiful girl, strangers tell me all the time, and I see eyes always on me as I walk down the street. But my dating life has been extremely difficult. I'm making this post to hopefully give a perspective to the men here that always assumes dating is so easy for pretty girls. (This post isn't intended to get sympathy, to cry about it, or to find out the cause of this problem. Just simply to give a perspective)

The main issue I would say, is men viewing me as an object or something to conquer. When men hit on me, I just know it's because they want to ***** me, not because they want to actually take me out on a date, so I pay no interest to them. There has been a couple of times, (I mean it literally - probably 2) a nice, normal guy approaches me, starts a normal conversation, and asks for my number to take me on a date. The dates are really fun, good conversation, good connection. but, I am NOT into casual *****. so, I wait to have ***** until I really trust them and feel they like me as a person and not just for my body. But, they lose interest almost immediately after.

I changed my approach a long time ago, and decided maybe I should be the one to approach guys I think are cute and interesting, since the ones that approach me have only one mission in mind. When we exchange information, we talk a lot and things go so well and I feel so happy and accomplished that I had the courage to reach out to start this connection. Then of course things happen as they always do - we have *****, they lose interest.

So, yeah I could probably walk into any bar on any night and pick a guy and he will come home and have ***** with me, but I'll never hear from him again. They don't want to hold me and cook meals with me and go vintage shopping with me - they just want to say they were able to ***** me.

I spend most of my time alone in my house now. I cook, I read, I watch movies and youtube videos, I learn languages, and I live my life like an old woman because I can't handle being used for my body anymore. In the last 4 years I have been single, I can count on one hand how many guys I have been on dates with. When, or if, I'm able to date again, I know that I have to completely be celibate until I know for sure they actually view me as a person and want to make a commitment to me, which is a really horrible thought because ***** should be something that you do with people you truly value - it's a bonding mechanism. But I get bonded and they bounce.

TLDR it's not so easy dating for us as attractive women either. It's hard to tell if they actually like me for my soul or just to use me for my body. We don't date or have ***** nearly as much as you think we do.

Had a first date planned today with a nice girl I met in the park. Dinner and a comedy club.

As I’m in the taxi I get a message from her: “sorry I can’t make it. I got a huge cold. I took a medicine and just woke up.”

I kept my calm and stayed polite and told her I hope she feels better but I did say she could have told me earlier.

I would not put my alarm 1 hour before the date time. Why take that risk of cancelling while someone could be on the way already. Also, I would give a heads up the moment I feel ill and take a medicine ? Just a “Hey I’m feeling ill il take a nap and let you know. Don’t leave your house yet”.

Am I wrong for being upset ? I know people do get sicks. The timing just feels inconsiderate.

Yesterday, I was on a walk listening to a podcast. Out of nowhere this guys approaches me and asks me where Im from. I thought he was cute and told him where I am from in South America. He kept the conversation going and suddenly we have been walking together for a good 30 min. He asks me when I am free and I tell him that I am going to visit my family and will be traveling until January.  Basically the only day we both could meet before I leave was that day… It was already 5:30pm, I still had to workout after the walk and then pick up my sister at 7 at the airport. He tells me ok perfect, let’s do drinks at 8 at XYZ place (which has food… this will become important)

We exchange numbers, and later he texts me changing the place to some sort of dive bar… I was fine with that. But as time progresses, I realize Im hungry because I haven’t had anything to eat since lunch so I just ask him whether that bar has food options because I’m hungry ( I don’t think this is unreasonable ) and he tells no, it’s a bar. We can grab food after. I already didn’t like this but I show up. We order drinks and within 5 min of me sitting down he starts asking me about *****ual things (how do I turn men on, he comments that I look submissive). Basically just a bunch of random things that I wouldn’t talk to someone especially when I haven’t even had a sip of my drink.

I just let it slide and think well he is just very *****ual I guess but I knew there was no future then just because I am not looking for anything casual. I tell him I respect ***** more than that and that I am looking for a committed relationship. He clearly doesn’t like any of comments and is questioning them like why, why am I not more assertive, he likes women like that. I don’t know if he was trying to make me feel insecure but I am very confident so this for sure wasn’t working

I am not even done with my drink when he asks for the check and tells me to pick a spot to get takeout and then go to his place. I tell him very firmly that I am not going to his place. He starts pressuring me, asking me why. I tell him that I don’t know him at all, I have 0 references of who he is and for all I know he could be a serial killer. He takes like deep offense and starts just asking me why I think that.  Then tells me this is the first time this doesn’t work on a girl… and I tell him like what sort of girls are you dating? that’s just crazy

Anyways I am very shaken by this guy just pressuring me soo much. I order an uber in front of him and just tell him that I am leaving.

He then tells me full transparency that since he is never going to see me again, he is trying some techniques he is learning on this course and to please give him feedback. The course apparently mentions talking about ***** to the girls they way he did and this would turn them on or something (wtf)  and then just be assertive when taking them back to their place.

I am at this point extremely shaken and just tell him that first he couldnt even change the place to a bar with food so I could grab some fries or something and not starve. Then he tells me that I tried to ‘weseal’ my way into him buying me dinner and I tell him very clearly that I changed my plans for the night, went out of my way to grab drinks with him a Monday night and that why would I do that if I don’t even know him. 

Then I tell him at he was acting extremely entitled like I HAD to go with him to his place just because he bought me a drink…? and then if the girl says no just tell her to go to another bar to get another drink and try again but not make her super uncomfortable.

Honestly, I dont know who is selling this stupid course and how does this work on girls. But anyways I was literally shaking in anger when I got home and I don’t know if this a shared experience and if dating really

So what do you folks think? Is it worth it to start spending money on your girlfriend within 6 months of dating and sharing alot. I mean alot. Not gonna go into details. In short she ticked every aspect of becoming your long life partner including family introductions etc.

Will you still spend money on her taking into account in the past you had someone, spent money on her and everything but she dumped you for another guy later on?

So when this current girlfriend asks you for money will you financially support her or you will let her know, you are only going to be her full responsibility in marriage?

(Apart from the obvious fear of rejection or coming off creepy) What would put you off approaching a women in public, I’m a ***** woman who doesn’t go out drinking and isn’t keen on dating apps so out in public and uni is really my only place of contact so I guess I’m just trying to find out how to make myself more approachable and not give off the vibe that I don’t wanna be approached 😂 so tell me what would stop you?

If I see another story on here about an OP that's getting their heartbroken by a person they have either never met or met only once over several months, I will triple face palm. However that works.

It's a fantasy. It's not real life. Date locally. Date in person. or at least within a reasonable drive. One of the people in the online "relationship" will not take it seriously because of the situation and use you for attention. Don't fall into that trap!!

Title gives the general idea of the post.

Girl and I have a lot in common, we both are into the gym, like to have a few drinks on the weekends, kid free, etc, etc... We have gone out a few times and she has been over to my place. I'm by no means a "clean freak" but my place is generally clean with a lived in feel (could keep up better on the dusting and the small stuff). This weekend we decided to go to her town, we live about 30 mins away, had a couple drinks and ended up back at hers.

Right off the back my smell is overwhelmed with cat smell, like bad. Then the place is small and it is just overwhelmingly cluttered, to the point where it is difficult to move. We had made plans Wednesday with the date being Friday... In my head she definitely had time to consider that we may end up at her place (she has stayed at mine twice) and done some basic maintenance.

Has anyone been in this situation? I do like this girl, but really don't want to stay at her place. How do you even bring this up to someone?

I’m in a really complicated situation right now. I met a guy online—I’m 22F, he’s 33M, but he told me he was 29. We started off as FWB, and I started liking him a little, but nothing serious. He never invited me to his place, and eventually, I found out he has a fiancée and is planning to marry her in less than a year. I looked her up online, and now he’s begging me not to tell her. He’s saying he’ll change and that I’d ruin their lives if I told her because she’s financially dependent on him, and this would break her. I’m so against cheating, and I hate that I was unknowingly the “other woman.” I feel awful for his fiancée and for not telling her yet. He’s cheated with a lot of women, probably over 10. I feel stressed and really don’t know what to do—I just feel terrible

Edit: I told the fiance and she is heartbroken. She judt bought a house with him and were planning a destination wedding. She had no idea about anything. However, im really scared for my life rn. He recorded our ***** tape on my phone and clearly in that video km asking him to not record. However, i told him i will send that video to his gf last night to prove infidelity. He is so smart, he threatened me, he said “this might all be joke to you but this is my life you're trying to ruin. I had to speak to a lawyer this morning. If you continue to try to contact me or my girlfriend I will make a claim with your university for harassment and will show them messages of you threatening ***** revenge by sharing that video. If you continue attempting to reach out l will file a report with the police for the same and get a restraining order.” I dont know what he is gonna do to me now

Im 25F has been talking to this guy for about a month so far I met on hinge. Not any flirting or *****ual stuff, but just normal talking about our life, our work, our dogs etc pretty much most of the day and every day. He is a very good guy and I think maybe it's shyness? Or maybe he's not interested? But why do on a dating app and talk to a girl and not be interested in dating? I don't mind the normal conversation at all in the slightest because It upsets me when people are so *****ual so early on and it's clear that's all they want, it's just hard to know whether he's actually interested in a relationship at all lol If he's shy should I ask to meet up?? We never talked about any relationship stuff or exs either Oh and we're still on the app. He doesn't have social media

2 years post separation and 18 months post divorce, with several first dates this year, I am coming to terms with the fact that I’m fundamentally broken and unlovable as a man.

2 years of therapy, losing 60lbs, focusing on my passions, none of it has been enough to attract my life partner.

I’ve gone on several first dates these past 5 months, most of which have been with women I didn’t particularly find attractive. Only 1 wowed me, she wasn’t over her ex and ended things after our 2nd date.

My ex wife was my first girlfriend at 26. We got married at 28 as I had such little success with women, I knew she was the only person I could get, now after her leaving me for another man, 2 years, that fear has been confirmed.

I’m trying hard to fix myself, to learn what’s broken and wrong with me, but it’s never enough. I’m just fundamentally unlovable as a person.

I (25M) had a 4 year long relationship with a girl who was my best friend for 8 years, the relationship ended 2 years ago and i managed to move past it somehow. Fast forward to now, I have moved to another country and i am living alone with no family or close friends. Recently, she posted on her socials that she has got engaged to a guy who was just a friend of hers.

I was shocked when I saw it as to how she managed to get engaged so soon. Now it's constantly bothering me at the back of my mind since I am all alone and still getting used to the new environment and jazz.

I try my best not to assume anything, but sometimes it's abit overwhelming.

I’m F26, and I feel a bit clueless, but I’m posting here to get some perspective. If you started developing feelings for your friends with benefits (FWB), what would you do? Would you keep those feelings to yourself and let it go, or would you tell them how you feel? Or does it depend on the situation? I didn’t expect this, but I’m starting to develop feelings for this person (not going to specify gender, just keeping it neutral).

Consider this a romantic exercise. What's something you've always wanted to do with a partner? It could be a date idea, a little bit of intimacy, some words you've always wanted to say or to be told to you, or even a gift you want to give them. For me, I've always wanted to do that thing where you sneak up behind someone and then give them a surprise hug (with established boundaries and common sense in mind, of course).

Also, you can't say any kind of *****. That's a different type of attraction.

I’m asking the question because I (30F) had multiple conversations with friends and people at work relating this topic and I’m curious to have feedbacks from you guys.

I feels like there’s a huge gap between how people experience dating depending on their gender, age, physical attributes, wealth, etc. It feels harder than what people of older generations used to experience.

• Is it easy for you to find people to connect with?
• Do you have any frustrations?
• How would you like it to be?

I am 20F and have recently moved into my new uni house, with two girls and five boys i don't know. Within the first two weeks of living in this house me and my ex-boyfriend broke up and one of my housemates 21M got broken up with the same week (lets call him John). Me and John had always got on well from the start even when with our exs, however since the breakups we really started to get on well. We normally have very heavy and deep conversations about mental health and past trauma which really brought us a lot closer. A few weeks had passed and one night John came to my room for advice and this is where things got complicated, as we kissed and he ended up staying in my room for the night. Despite only kissing John that night he has stayed in my room many more times since that night where things have gone further. However, i am now in a difficult position as i do like him a tiny bit but im not sure what to do about it, as he has made it very clear that we are both single and fresh out of a relationship. I also feel like i am being used a bit in this situation, but i dont know the best way around it as i have to live with him for the next 10 months. I am unsure if i should carry on being FWB or end it now while its still only new.

Name the excuses as a man do you get turned down while dating?
To tell you more, I always get the "my life is just complicated now. Or you deserve better. " I get tired of the excuses and so I date multiple girls at the same time, so when one goes, no big deal as I am talking to a few others. Am I wrong for having a backup?

I was dating a ***** addict. Its my fault for staying. But this was the last straw. I cant do it anymore. I loved him unconditionally. But all of that is gone now. He cheated since the second day of us dating. He cheated all four years. Since the very very beginning. And i didnt know that until last night. I knew he had problems but i had no idea he never even gave me a chance. I was going through a nonviable pregnancy, i started miscarrying on Halloween. Bled for days, emotionally a wreck. And he was on grindr with a second phone i didnt know about. I want to forget him. I want him to forget me. I will never get back all those years he stole from me, my prime years. I was 19 when i met him, he is 10 years older than me. I know now that he chose me because i was *****, vulnerable, and insecure. He took so much from me. I used to be so happy. This relationship has almost cost me my life on more than one occasion. I cant do it anymore or i am going to die. I miss him so much already but i would be so much better off if we never see each other again. I feel so alone. So stupid. Im praying to god to take this pain away. Havent slept, haven’t eaten, havent showered, haven’t left bed. I am a wreck. How will i heal.

I (26F) have been dating this man (29M) for a couple of months now, we meet almost every weekend (we live in different cities). We are both from different countries, living in a foreign land. We’re not exclusive yet, but I don’t usually date multiple people simultaneously, he knows that. For now I am okay with that. Last week we hung out at his place for the first time, had our first shower together. He bathed me, like scrubbed me and washed my hair. I was overwhelmed and it felt very intimate. I used to doubt if he cared about me and this gesture was touching and gentle. I still can’t comprehend what and why, especially because now this is just like a situationship (!). On a side note, we always talk about our values and how we would deal with things in a relationship and we agreed to see each other in the beginning only after knowing that we want long term relationships.

Am I reading too much into that gesture?

My bf broke up with me like a week ago when I was trying to talk to him about my uncomfortableness with him having other girls in his room alone and I know I shouldn’t but I miss him how do I stop missing him I just think about all the times we had together and how much I liked him and how much I miss his voice and touch and I don’t know how to stop these feelings. I know what he did was bad and he ended it and he hurt me but I just can’t help it because he was my person and now there’s a hole in my heart and I’m also just lonely in general and I miss the nice embrace of another person

I am F20 and I have recently been going on dates and I went on a first date with M20 and he was really sweet. He was really easy to talk to and I enjoyed getting lunch with him. We then went back to his apartment and watched a movie. We were talking and he said a racial slur. I was honestly shocked and did not know how to react. I am not the type to freak out on people but it was way too far. I just laughed and left soon after. He thought it was so funny and said it multiple times… What is wrong with people?? i thought it was known and easy to not say racial slurs in 2024? I’m not saying that every man is like this but it upsets me that he thought it would be okay to say that on a FIRST date. Am I crazy? How do I find someone that has the decency to not say racial slurs.

I was left on sent for two whole days by this guy I was talking to. We just spent time together last week and everything was going fine until I went home, and our messages were going good until he left on sent. Not even on read but sent which for me was the worst thing. He could have been a bit nicer about it and read my message but no. He liked my last post and one of my stories while leaving me on sent which annoyed me even more. I find it so rude and disrespectful considering that we just spent the weekend together and he was looking forward to doing it again. This really breaks my heart but I cant do anything about it anymore. I don’t wanna stress about it but still it hurts. I hope no one ever goes through this.

EDIT: We’ve been going out for more than a year. And he’s always, I mean everyday posting on his social media accounts so…

It was my first time being on a dating app ever and I became overwhelmed and though I had matched with him, I guess the whole process and overwhelming messages became too much for me that I decided to take a break. Out of courtesy, I told him I was deleting the app and when he offered his number to me, I turned it down and wished him well on his journey.

A month later, I downloaded another dating app and days later I see that he had swiped right on me. I was shocked as we live in a huge city that he had found me again. So I matched again only for him to ask (rightfully so) why I had matched him if the first time I “didn’t want him.” I explained my thought process and we just talked until past midnight with a date set for the next day to meet in person.

That was yesterday, we met at a tea house to play chess. This was a really different type of date and lowkey that allowed us both to concentrate on the game while also having conversation as well. After the date, he sent me a message asking what I thought of him, and I was honest to say I liked the date and enjoyed my time with him.

Today in the morning he said he was willing to delete the dating app. I have never gone exclusive after one date but I guess this felt different as we have stuff in common and we also come from the same hometown and now live in this big city. So, guys we are exclusively getting to know each other now… we’ll see where this goes but it feels good for now. We have another date set up already.

Saying this because sometimes a missed connection feels like that but maybe it was just timing and it can come back again!

So, I met this girl when I was at a birthday party two years ago. My first impression of her was that she seemed kind of shy; however, the more she drank alcohol, the more her confidence rose. We talked a lot that night together, enjoyed the company, and agreed to hang out more often in a friend group to spend time.   *One more thing about she‘s known for sleeping with other guys when she‘s drunk. She admitted that she only does that because she‘s single.   After days, months, and a year have passed, we got in a dark state in our friendship together. I made a joke about her, and she took it personally and got mad at me. She demanded an apology, but my ego refused to, because I thought the joke was lighthearted. Then she got even more mad at me and said, „To be honest, you are the most annoying person I have ever met, and I would prefer not to see you ever again. In all honesty, I was hurt after that and didn‘t see her for a month.   A friend of mine who is also her friend talked about that incident with me. I told him that I was embarrassed to meet her again, but my friend assured me that she wouldn‘t mind if I saw her again.   So, we hang out again in a friend group, and I kind of noticed that she acts like that friend she always was to me. We got closer after finally meeting again and agreed to spend time together, but this time only me and her. Of course it wasn‘t a date, because I have never had a thought about getting romantically closer with her.   And now to the main part of the story. One of our friends wanted to celebrate his birthday and invited us to his house. I don‘t know, but I was in a very good mood. At this party, I was unstoppable and drank a whole liquor bottle in 4 hours. I was so drunk I couldn‘t walk straight. My friend (W) was also very drunk at that moment, and we playfully teased each other. While goofing around together, we both fell on the floor crying by laughing. We also stared us each other in the eyes, and that's where I went straight for the kiss without even asking her. It seemed like a love scene from a movie, if I think about it. As drunk as I was, I forgot many things about that night; however, I couldn‘t forget the kiss. It was one of the best kisses I have ever had.   The next day I thought about the kiss the whole time, and I asked myself if I had a crush on her or only wanted ***** at that party. After that kiss we didn‘t even text each other.   The next weekend we hang out again as a friend group. This time we didn‘t drink much because we got sick of the last birthday party. Everybody gagged as soon as they smelled strong alcohol. On the way home, me and her had to get to the same subway station, but she had to take a different train as me. On the way to the subway, we jokingly held hands, and I sarcastically said, „Look, we are a couple now,“ and she answered with, „I guess so“ and smiled. While hugging her goodbye at our stop, I just stared into her eyes like in our last kiss and asked her this time if she wanted to kiss. She was speechless, never said a word, and just looked in my eyes. I took that as a yes and went for the kiss, and she kissed me back. I took her in my arms and hugged tightly this time while she rested her head on my shoulder.   Now to the problem. I dont know if she only likes me because she drinks alcohol, and I‘m not sure how to deal with this situation now. Do I ask her about the kiss when she‘s sober? Do I ask her out on date? Or do I keep my mouth shut and act like nothing happened?   You are probably wondering about my questionable thoughts, but I put our friendship in a vulnerable state. One wrong move and things can get awkward or even worse. Sometimes I regret kissing her, even though I enjoyed both kisses.   Like I mentioned, she‘s shy and doesn‘t really act like she is interested when sober. It‘s so complicated for me because I have already ruined a good friendship in a situation like this before.   I hope you guys can help me to beat my frustration.   Thanks for reading.